[vc_row][vc_column][gem_divider margin_top=”46″][vc_column_text]“Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is scratching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” – Genesis 4:6-7
Have you ever been so angry you couldn’t recognize yourself? Did you push away every friend, every family member, and every person that tried to show you any fraction of love? I did. When I decided to walk away from God I didn’t notice any differences. I mean, yes I stopped reading my Bible, and I stopped praying, but I didn’t recognize any character differences. I was moving up in my career, I started dating “the girl of my dreams“ had a pretty cranking apartment right next to campus, work and even more importantly the beach. To be honest I felt life only seemed to get better, until in February of 2016 when my world was flipped upside down. When my father pasted away and my relationship took a turn for the worst. I noticed the biggest change. The once low burning anger I was able to control had now erupted into a raging fire ready to consume everything. I joke now, but I remember being so angry that I almost ( on 2 separate occasions) fought a customer, 1st over butter and another time over half-and-half (in my defense the guy wanted 18 packets of butter and he did not want to buy anything, and the half-and-half guy called me some pretty nasty names and over all caught me on a very bad day) I had lost all control.[/vc_column_text][gem_divider margin_top=”40″][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][gem_quote style=”4″ no_paddings=”1″]”I was born to become a disciple. My parents raised me to love God and God set me up to surrender my life to him early on. I was baptized over winter break my sophomore year of high school. Everyone saw it coming but me.”[/gem_quote][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row css=”.vc_custom_1457788607747{margin-right: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px !important;}”][vc_column width=”1/2″ css=”.vc_custom_1546405985600{padding-bottom: 404px !important;background-image: url(https://boiseicc.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/TheCross-Images-_-Joel-Parlour-Sitting.jpg?id=24868) !important;background-position: center !important;background-repeat: no-repeat !important;background-size: cover !important;}”][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″ css=”.vc_custom_1457788939445{padding-bottom: 20px !important;padding-left: 42px !important;}” offset=”vc_col-lg-offset-0″][vc_column_text]In a lot of ways, I could see myself relating to King Saul who also lost control and suffered.
“Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as King.” – 1 Samuel 15:23
When the Lord left him, Saul lost Gods favor, even when he wanted to change (1 Samuel 19:7,9-10) he could not because he no longer shared the heart of God. Sin is tenacious. Once it sinks its teeth into your heart; bite firm and jaw locked, it starts to pull you into the tall grass where no one can see or hear you. Nothing short of Gods grace can save you.
“He has saved us and called us to a holy life–not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time” – 2 Tim 1:9[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row css=”.vc_custom_1457788581707{margin-right: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px !important;}”][vc_column width=”1/2″ css=”.vc_custom_1457789015745{padding-top: 33px !important;padding-right: 42px !important;}”][vc_column_text]Moving from California to Washington my anger followed me. I would wake up almost every morning hating my life, I had no hope. I knew if I wanted to see a change I had to be different from Saul, he took matters into his own hands and his entire family died and so took his own life. After connecting with the Seattle International Christian Church and them welcoming me with open arms. I thought the pain would go away, but it didn’t. I lashed out at them I had no idea why I was so damaged and for a year and a half, I had struggled to find peace, happiness, and hope. Do you know what it’s like to be around people who genuinely love God and the life he has given them trails and all, while I struggle to put on even fake a smile? Naturally, I told myself “I don’t belong” I wasn’t needed” and my commitment was nonexistent. The disunity I brought to the group I thought was unforgivable, and many times contemplated leaving. I think about how I let Satan for so long play me for the fool.
However God allowed me time to get myself together so I could see his glorious riches, to be strengthened by the power of his spirit, so Christ may live within me, to be rooted and established in love, to understand how wide, and long how high and deep is the love of Christ, so I may be filled to the fullness of God to one day become a mighty, faithful, servant useful to him. To the brothers who never gave up on me. The sisters who were brave enough to call out the sin of the 6’5 400lbs giant (deep down I’m a teddy bear), to the ones who didn’t stop picking up the phone to call me asking me questions I didn’t want to answer, and to those how didn’t stop believing in me. Thank you. Thank you for showing me greater love by laying your life’s down for me. So if you’re reading this, and you feel there is no point or no hope for change in your life. Let me be the first to tell you, your wrong. I found my joy, my peace, my hope, my love, and my family in the kingdom of God. If I, a hateful angry guy with maybe 2 talents, stubborn, let’s be real prideful and an ordinary guy can. You can too.”
Eric G. Jones II[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″ css=”.vc_custom_1546406006300{padding-bottom: 400px !important;background-image: url(https://boiseicc.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/TheCross-Images-_-Joel-Parlour-Preaching.jpg?id=24866) !important;background-position: center !important;background-repeat: no-repeat !important;background-size: cover !important;}”][/vc_column][/vc_row]
